and i’m back
So after a who knows how long hiatus I have returned to spew all that I feel because im not exactly the best at talking about my feelings.
I miss my old life I miss the security.
I don’t get how I have gotten to this point of missing it either. How the hell can my life be so terrible that i miss being cheated on constantly? who knows? but i do know that he made me feel special he made me believe that he cared about me whether it was true or not it felt as though it were and thats all that mattered to me. now why i miss that is beyond me.
So I got the guy the long wanted guy and now what? weve been dating for 7 months now, hes living with me until he figures out his finances, he makes me feel fat and ugly 75% of the time, he insists on only watching the history channel and takes up my entire couch. I want to watch my own goddamn TV!!!!!!! I pay for it so why the fuck can I never watch it?
I don’t exist in public for the most part, i watch my friends hug kiss and say they love their bf’s in front of everybody and it seems as if were secretly dating at times. WTF. I need to do something now.
On top of all this I realized how much i hate myself today. I hate every fat inch of my body, i need to change this.
List of things to do:
Fix BF situation
Fix fat situation
PS yes that’s me wearing headphones in my own home!! GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
